When Haruhi Became Obsessed With A Reindeer
by Aurora IceTree
Summary: It's Winter and to escape boredom Haruhi finds herself surfing the web, researching Christmas. Soon she is swept up in the holiday spirit and slowly an obsession forms, an obsession with reindeer...Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Haruhi Suzumiya. Winter special!
1. In Which Haruhi Becomes Obsessed

**When Haruhi Became Obsessed With A Reindeer**

**By**

**Aurora IceTree**

**Chapter One**

**In Which Haruhi Becomes Obsessed** **And Kyon Is Sarcastic**

Her hand darted to the computer mouse and a furious clicking filled the room. Haruhi Suzumiya was ,as per usual, spending the time the SOS Brigade met up, surfing the web. She cried out in triumph as she found a page that suited her, her brown eyes perusing the page with an unhealthy sparkle.

The club room door creaked as it opened, the noise did not distract the Brigade's leader, and Kyon entered the room. He sighed contentedly as he glanced around the small space. Yuki was reading yet another book and Itsuki was sipping tea from a small china cup being served by Mikuru, who unfortunately had been forced into a strange bright green mini skirt and corset. She also appeared to be wearing over sized plastic ears. Kyon's heart went out to the poor girl. Haruhi had a cruel sense of humour. At least he hoped Mikuru's ensemble was a joke...no if Haruhi was behind it, it was no joke.

His gaze landed on the club president. She still hadn't noticed him. An expression of grim determination was glued to her face. Yet another worrying sign. The other club members smiled as Kyon sat down at the table, the main feature in the room. Well no, the main feature was the ridiculously large hoard of dress up clothes hung on a rail to the side of the room but the table was the most decent piece in the room going by the design of some of the clothing- or rather lack of clothing- and poor innocent Mikuru fell victim to these adorable crimes of fashion far too often.

"What's she up to now?" Kyon asked, turning to Itsuki.

Itsuki glanced at Mikuru for a second who smiled nervously. All three of them turned to look at Haruhi who was too absorbed in her internet frenzy to notice they were about to gossip about her.

"It appears our president has developed a new obsession," Itsuki said.

"With?"

"Christmas"

"Christmas?"

Mikuru nodded. "Christmas".

"The thing with Santa-san?"

It appeared Santa-san was the magic word. Haruhi's head shot up suddenly and her eyes widened as she saw Kyon.

"Kyon-kun! Get over here now! I have to show you all about Christmas! And Santa-san!"

Kyon sighed irritably and walked over to the computer. He knew better than to disobey Haruhi when she was in this mood.

The president pointed at the screen excitedly. A fat man with a humongous beard dressed in a giant red suit decorated the screen. This was Santa-san. Christmas was not traditionally celebrated in Japan but the Western custom had slowly wormed it's way into the country and Santa-san and his magical flying reindeer were very popular. It seemed that Haruhi had only just learnt about Santa-san.

"You didn't know who Santa-san was?" Kyon asked, turning to look at the over excited teenager who had an expression on her face that he assumed resembled that of a kid who had been locked in a candy store all night.

"Of course I know who Santa-san is!" she cried, seizing the mouse again.

A few clicks later and a slightly pixilated picture of a large brown mammal with vast antlers appeared on the screen. The animal had a bulbous red nose that was glowing.

"Meet Rudolph-san!" Haruhi smiled.

Kyon didn't look impressed.

"Rudolph-san can fly, and his nose glows and he pulls Santa-san's sleigh through the sky and he has reindeer friends called Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen and Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen and he can fly and-"

"You said that already"

Haruhi pouted and muttered something under her breath that sounded like dart- brass- brick- dead. Kyon shook his head. She was so childish sometimes.

"Is there a point to you showing me this?"

"Of course!"Haruhi said, ominous twinkle in her eyes again.

Kyon wandered back to the table and sat down. Haruhi cleared her throat and all eyes turned to her, except for Yuki who just sat quietly reading her book like a piece of breathing furniture.

"As you have all probably noticed, my dear SOS Brigade, I have taken a keen interest in the Western tradition of Christmas-"

"Yeah, keen interest...obsession more like" Kyon muttered under his breath. Haruhi swiftly grabbed a book of her desk and threw it at Kyon while she continued her speech.

"And you have probably all noticed Mikuru's new outfit". She gestured to the scantily clad girl. "She is modelling the unusual attire of the 'elf'" Air quotes. "This creature is one of Santa-san's little helpers but the thing that has captivated my attention completely is..." She paused for dramatic effect. Kyon had an urge to throw the book she threw at him right back at her if she didn't get on with it. " Reindeer".

"Like Rudolph-san?" Itsuki piped up.

"Exactly!"

"We get it, you've got a reindeer fetish. Can I go home now?" Kyon said folding his arms grumpily.

"No".

Haruhi walked round to the front of her desk.

"My proposition to you, my friends, is that we find and capture one of these magnificent creatures and use it to help us out in our paranormal investigations!"

She struck a pose as she finished. One finger held aloft, pointing heavenwards, face upturned too. She looked as though she was expecting applause. When it didn't come all it took was a glare in Asahina-san's direction and the red head burst into frenzied (and terrified) applause. Itsuki clapped politely and Kyon yawned loudly. Yuki once again did nothing.

"And how will kidnapping a reindeer help us with the floods of cases we get every day?" Kyon enquired, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"It's a reindeer. Of course it will help".

Kyon marvelled at the girl's strange logic.

"Um, Suzumiya-san?" Itsuki raised his hand.

"Yeah?"

"Where are we going to get a reindeer from?"

"That's easy we...um go to the ... oh crap".

Haruhi, defeated and rejected, sat down in her chair with a huff. Kyon smiled at her misfortune.

"Seeing as we have no idea where to get a reindeer from," Kyon muttered, standing. He pulled his jacket on and not so subtlety crept towards the door. "I'm gonna go home..."

Grabbing the door handle, Kyon fled the clubroom, escaping the eccentric president. He expected her to follow but she did not. Perhaps her desire to have a pet reindeer was more serious than he thought. _Oh well she'll get over it _he thought _By tomorrow she'll be begging us to go catch the Easter Bunny...or maybe she'll dress Asahina-san in that bunny girl suit again..._

_~#~#~#~#~_

Darkness descended around the school much like the bruise that had appeared on Kyon's face where the book Haruhi had threw at him landed and Haruhi found herself all alone in the clubroom. She was seated in her chair at the computer, head propped up by her hand. She hadn't moved since Kyon left, deep in thought. The other club members had left a while ago but she hadn't paid them much attention. The only thing running through her head was where she was going to get her reindeer from.

She would get one of course. She would stop at nothing until a reindeer was in her possession and because she was Haruhi Suzumiya she would soon get one.

A sudden commotion sounded outside snapping Haruhi out of her comatose state. She growled under her breath. Who dared to interrupt her reindeer fantasies? Jumping to her feet, Haruhi drew back the blinds and looked outside. She could just make out a large shape inside the school gates. She could see no people around. Glancing at the clock she realised she was probably the only one left at school, and most people were probably in bed by midnight too...

Despite the fact she knew she should return home the strange shape outside had captivated her attention. Pulling on her coat she raced out of the building into the cold night air. Hiding behind a pillar, Haruhi cautiously peered around it at the shadowy mass. Unfortunately, all the lamps were off so she still couldn't make out exactly what it was. It was obviously a vehicle of some sort. Too big to be a car but to small to be a bus.

"Wait a minute..." Haruhi muttered, her mind returning to a picture she's seen in her cybernetic adventures.

Abandoning caution in the same place as her sanity, Haruhi closed the distance between her and the mystery vehicle. She ran a hand up the wooden side of the vehicle. Tinsel was strung along it, glittering in the moonlight. Little elves were painted on the surface, cheery smiles on their faces. This was a sleigh. To be more precise- Santa-san's sleigh.

"Kyaaaaa!!" Haruhi squealed in traditional fan girl style.

She started hopping around the sleigh, totally missing the figure slouched over in the driver's seat and she only noticed the reindeer as she ran into it.

The large creature looked down at her from where she lay dazed on the floor. A big pink tongue darted out its mouth and licked across her face, leaving a gooey reindeer spit trail. Not being like normal girls, instead of screaming in disgust and running away, Haruhi jumped to her feet and grabbed the startled reindeer in a hug.

"REINDEER-SAN!"

* * *

**Aurora Note: I hope that wasn't too bad -_-This idea was totally spontaneous! I knew I was going to write an Xmas special but I didn't know what the storyline or fandom was until yesterday when I sat down and typed out a plan! XD**

**The story will most likely be about three chapters long I think and will be finished be the end of the month. I can aim for Xmas day but people who know me know that's not gonna happen XD **

**Please review and as always I DO accept annonymous reviews! =D **

**Feel free to check out my profile for my other stories and progress updates! ^_^**


	2. In Which Haruhi Becomes A Felon

**Chapter Two**

**In Which Haruhi Becomes A Felon And Kyon Refuses To Become Her Partner In Crime**

A crisp frost covered the school grounds, Kyon's bike tyre crunching as he rolled it along. It was early, too early and he was the only idiot around, the only idiot on a bike in the middle of winter too. Although his idiocy only extended to his choice of transport. He had enough brain cells, unpolluted by images of Mikuru in skimpy outfits, to figure his bike would be safe from thieves and the frost if he stored it out of sight. It would also prevent the stares he would get from people if he was seen walking around with a bike, a bike that was completely useless on the icy pavements.

No one knew Kyon had been hiding his bike in the janitor's shed behind the school for the last few weeks. Instead of not bothering to go to school on his bike, he took to hiding it, which in turn meant he had to get up earlier just so he had enough time to do so.

He made his daily trek around the school, Mission Impossible theme tune running through his mind. The green painted door of the shed twinkled under the frost. Reaching out a gloved hand Kyon opened the shed door...and found himself staring at a reindeer.

For a moment animal and man stared at each other. A look of disbelief on Kyon's face, an expression of curiosity and...hunger on the reindeer's. Then the reindeer lunged forward and snatched Kyon's hat off of his head. The victim watched as the animal slowly began chewing on his beloved hat.

"Gahhhh?!" cried Kyon, snatching at it.

The reindeer held tight and a tug of war match ensued between them. Reindeer spit flew in every direction as Kyon finally tugged his possession free. He could have sworn the villainous beast smirked at him as he catapulted backwards, arms flailing ,landing flat on his face, an impressive feat seeing as he hadn't even been facing the ground.

One thought and one thought only crossed his mind: Haruhi. The psychotic president had done it again. She wanted something and because she was 'God' she got it. _Greattt. _

Scrambling to his feet Kyon threw his hat back at the offending creature, it was saturated with slobber and riddled with teeth marks, damaged beyond repair. The reindeer happily caught it in his mouth and began chewing again. Kyon slammed the shed door in it's face, he wasn't going to risk leaving his bike in there with _it. _

Steering his vehicle away from the shed, he marched round the front of the building and rammed his bike into the provided bike facility. He didn't care if people laughed at him now. Oh no, all he was thinking was the best way to tell Haruhi she was a nutter(with the least possible bluntness) not to mention a criminal seeing as she'd obviously stolen the reindeer. Knowing her, Kyon would soon be roped into the crime. What was the maximum jail sentence for stealing a reindeer now days anyway?

~#~#~#~#~

The criminal mastermind herself sat at her desk cheerfully humming 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer'. She was the only one in the clubroom. School didn't officially start for another half hour anyway so she had some quality alone time to ponder where her new friend should live. The shed was alright but it wouldn't do as a permanent residence. Maybe she could get Kyon to move out of his house then use his bedroom as a stable for Reindeer-san...

As if on cue, Kyon barged into the room, door flying, panting as if he had just run a great distance. He pointed an accusing finger at her, to which she fluttered her eyelids innocently.

"Is there a problem, Kyon?"

"Problem? Oh there's a problem all right! It's five foot tall, ate my hat and smells bad!"

"Now that's no way to talk about Itsuki!"

"I'm talking about the REINDEER!" Kyon yelled. "And besides Itsuki didn't eat my hat".

Haruhi's face froze into an expression much like that of a child who just got caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar.

"I-I don't know what you're on about..." she stammered.

"Oh yes you do! You wanted a reindeer and now you've got one because you're Go-". Kyon broke off as he realised he was about to reveal the big secret.

"I'm what?"

"...a... gopher?"

"A gopher?"

"Yes"

"Hmm and why am I a gopher?"

"Becuase- hey don't change the subject you know you've hidden a reindeer on school property. You've most likely _stolen_ it which is a _crime_ if you haven't noticed".

"I didn't steal it! It just showed up!"

"Aha! So you admit you have a reindeer!"

"Damn," Haruhi sighed, giving up her ruse. "Ok I have a reindeer, what are _you _gonna do about it?"

Flustered, Kyon made a strangled noise then slumped into a chair. He knew he couldn't do a thing about it. He was just so powerless and Haruhi was _God. _The girl in question smirked as she saw she had defeated her opponent. She laced her fingers together and leant back in her chair with satisfaction. Kyon closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, Haruhi always had a habit of giving him a headaches.

"Could you at least get the damn animal out of the shed?"Kyon requested, opening an eye to look at the reindeer thief.

"Fine. It'll give me something to do until school starts".

She stood and scurried off to tend to her beloved new pet. _Ah silence. _Kyon thought, he had to cherish these precious moments. _I wonder where she got that damn animal from, wonder if she made Mikuru help her steal it...maybe she'll end up in that elf outfit again..._

_~#~#~#~#~_

As the bell rang dread flooded through Kyon. It had only just occurred to him that Haruhi may have done something stupid, no not may, she had definitely done something stupid when he asked her to remove the reindeer. And sure enough as he walked into the clubroom during lunch, a familiar fuzzy brown face loomed above him, shiny black eyes glistening with malicious hunger. Once again the creature darted for Kyon's clothing, this time it came away with his tie.

Astounded that the animal had the nerve to eat his clothing twice in one day, Kyon was about to shout obscene profanity at it, when he was interrupted by the sugary sweet voice that belonged to Mikuru.

"Kyon-kun, I see you've met Rentier-san!"

The cute red head smiled at him, one hand tentatively stroking the reindeer. _Oh no, not you too Asahina-san_ Kyon thought as he noticed the soft gleam of adoration in her eyes as she gazed at the magnificent animal before her.

"Rentier-san?" Kyon asked cautiously, it didn't sound good.

"Yes! Rentier-san! It's German for Reindeer!" Haruhi declared from somewhere in the masses of dress up clothes.

"German?"

"Yes?"

"Why German?"

A small book came flying over the clothes rail and Kyon caught it before it hit him in the face. A Japanese-German dictionary.

"Because of that".

"Where the hell did you even get this?"

"Lost property".

"Is this even useful to anyone?"

"Probably not, I think that's why it was 'lost'".

Haruhi emerged from the masses of clothing with an outfit Kyon hadn't seen before. It was a rich hazelnut colour, fur lined and as per usual very little material had been used. She threw it at Yuki who had been obediently standing in front of Haruhi's desk. It appeared to be torture-Asahina-san- time.

Itsuki who had been quietly observing from the central table, stood and ushered Kyon out of the room. The two teenage boys waited patiently outside the clubroom door as Mikuru was forced into yet another outfit that looked like it should belong in the red light district.

As Mikuru's squeals floated down the corridor, Kyon desperately resisted the urge to burst in to rescue his sweet maiden, mostly because it would just make Mikuru scream more and also because he would most likely run straight into the damn reindeer. Why did_ he_ get to stay in there? He was male wasn't he?

Finally after a few more minutes, Yuki opened the door and Mikuru was revealed. This time her cruel leader had forced her into ...a reindeer costume. Even though Kyon now had a hatred for the animals, he had to admit the costume was adorable. The brown fur leotard highlighted all of Mikuru's curves perfectly, the fur lining tastefully done. On her hands were dainty velvet gloves designed in such a way that they looked like hooves. Leg warmers to match adorned her ankles.

_Gah! Stop staring or you'll get a nosebleed! _Kyon thought to himself, hurriedly averting his gaze, which unfortunately fell on Haruhi, who was once again smirking due to the affect her latest creation had on Kyon.

The blushing reindeer sat down at the table, her real counterpart wondering over, his big black nose nuzzling her hair. His teeth grazed the antler headband perched on her head, but Rentier didn't start munching on it. _I see he doesn't eat _her_ possessions _he thought, a glare fixed on the animal.

Haruhi noticed his glare and pouted. Turning to the rest of her club members she began yet another speech.

"It has been my lifelong dream-"

"Lifelong as in only since yesterday," Kyon muttered.

In an instant Haruhi whipped off her shoe and threw it at Kyon. He really needed to learn not to interrupt her...

"It has been my lifelong dream to own a reindeer and now I do! But _some people _are opposed to my dear Rentier-san so we're having a vote!"

Her icy smile drifted over to Asahina-san.

"I- I vote Rentier-san- s-stays!" she squeaked.

"Uh I don't think this environment is best for Rentier-san, Suzumiya-san" Itsuki said apologetically.

Haruhi shrugged and turned to Yuki. She blinked her dull eyes and that seemed to be answer enough for Haruhi. Her steely gaze landed on Kyon.

"It has to go!"

She huffed. "Well I vote he stays. So two for stay, two for leave, but Yuki didn't vote so I'll vote for her and she votes Rentier-san stays so he stays!". Haruhi grinned in triumph even thought she'd just totally broken all rules of a fair vote.

Kyon had had enough. If she wasn't going to remove the reindeer herself then he would just have to call in backup. Backup in the form of teachers. The ultimate demons of law enforcement.

"Where are you going?" Haruhi demanded as Kyon stormed out of the room.

She called after him. "Kyon!"

But he wasn't listening. No way was he being held responsible for the inevitable reindeer rampage that would almost surely occur. He halted at the end of the corridor. _Maybe I could go peek at Asahina-san again, just for luck..._

* * *

**Aurora Note: So that was chapter two! Anyone else think that Kyon seemed very pervy in that chapter? It wasn't intentional it just kinda happened -_-**

**BIG THANK YOU to: Haya Cho and Racke for reviewing chapter one! **

**I DO accept annonymous reviews =D so please review even if you don't have an account! I love to hear what people think even if it's bad :P**

**Feel free to check out my profile for my other stories and progress updates! ^_^ See you next chapter!**


	3. In Which Haruhi Crosses Several Lines

**Chapter Three**

**In Which Haruhi Crosses Several Lines And Kyon Has An ODOUR Problem**

Kyon shook his head, he really had to stop thinking of Asahina-san like that, especially not when he was on a mission. Operation Dispose Of Unbearable Reindeer or ODOUR for short. It wasn't his first choice to go to the teachers. He'd much rather sort this out himself ,but boy did he hate that reindeer and it _had_ to go and he couldn't get rid of it on his own. Kyon had no real desire to hurt Haruhi (getting her upset could have disastrous consequences), well maybe he did enjoy pissing her off a little, but he hoped the teachers could make her see sense so she would give up the reindeer of her own free will. That way she wouldn't be too upset and hopefully wouldn't take out her anger on Kyon.

_Who am I kidding! _He thought. _She'll know it was me if I rat her out. I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. _He began pacing. It did nothing to ease his troubled mind. He was starting to wish he'd never thought of ODOUR. It was just a reindeer. A harmless reindeer. A reindeer that ate hats, drooled too much and was taking Kyon's place in the SOS Brigade. It _was_ taking his place! Wasn't it?

Kyon gasped and leant against the wall. Had that been Haruhi's plan all along? Replace him with a cute foreign creature, a creature willing to do her bidding unlike Kyon. He could _not_ let that happen! _Only _I_ can be Haruhi's bitch! _

_Wait, what? _

"Gahhh!" Kyon cried, racing off down the corridor. Paranoia was preventing him from thinking straight. At least he hoped it was.

~#~#~#~#~

The first thing Kyon noticed as he rounded the corner was the principal. Just the person he was looking for. Then he noticed the tall man with bad teeth talking to the principal. The stranger was dressed in a livid green outfit much like the one Asahina-san had been wearing the previous day, only his covered much more skin and had a logo reading 'Santa-san's Christmas Experience' on the back.

There was something odd about him, apart from the fact he was a grown man wearing an elf outfit and he was at a school. Then Kyon connected the dots. Elf outfit, Santa-san, sleigh...and reindeer! This man must be looking for Rentier-san! Rentier-san must be from this 'Christmas Experience' show.

Kyon slowly walked backwards until he was hidden behind the corner. Neither men had seen him. Time for a little eavesdropping.

"Mr Principal, sir. I have credible eyewitnesses that say they saw my sleigh and reindeer heading this way. They can't have just disappeared! Do I have to remind you my Santa-san is missing too? My employee!" the elf said. He didn't sound happy.

"There was no one here that late at night! You're free to look around again but I have no idea where your reindeer or your employee could have gone!". The principal didn't sound happy either.

Kyon had heard enough. So that was where Haruhi had gotten the reindeer from, but if that was true she must have seen the sleigh and Santa-san too. Knowing her she had probably hidden the sleigh somewhere but Santa-san would have been harder to hide...

He retreated down the corridor. It was time to confront Haruhi. Her little crime had gone too far. As if on cue a muffled sound caught Kyon's attention. It was coming from a closet to his right. There was no one else in the corridor. Kyon had a horrible feeling of dread. _She wouldn't? Oh go...gopher she would.._

Reaching for the door handle, sweat dripped from Kyon's forehead, his fingers shook. Scrunching his eyes shut, he threw open the door. The muffled sound got louder and Kyon dared to open an eye. Sitting in the closet bound and gagged was a man. A man wearing a red fur trimmed suit. Santa-san.

"Sa-sa-saaaan t-t-t-t-gahhhhhh?!" Kyon screamed, his words mixed in with a scream.

Haruhi had actually tied up a man in a closet. That had to be a crime not to mention it was down right creepy. The victim of this crime looked up at the teenager before him. Kyon looked down at Santa-san, one eye still closed, horrified expression frozen on his face. Santa-san tried to say something again but the gag changed his words to an annoyed muffle.

Kyon opened his other eye and ran his hands through his hair. _This is bad. No, worse than bad. This is illegal, very illegal. _He began pacing again. It really did nothing to help yet he continued to walk. Santa-san let out a few more annoyed grunts. Kyon ignored him and tried to think of a way to get out of this mess.

"Maybe we could hit Santa-san on the head hard enough to give him amnesia then dump him somewhere?". Kyon glanced sideways at Santa-san who squealed and tried to retreat further into the closet.

"No, he might remember or we might kill him...Wait a sec? We? I'm not involved in this! It's all Haruhi! Yes, all Haruhi..."

Santa-san squealed some more. The boy looked to be on the verge of psychotic and it looked like he wasn't going to free Santa-san any time soon.

Kyon turned to the bound man, eyes glinting with mischief.

"I was never here Santa-san," he said in a sing song voice. "Right?"

Santa-san nodded vigorously and with that Kyon slammed the closet door shut in his face, dusting off his hands like he was pleased he had just left a man tied up against his own will.

He was about to return to the club room to tell Haruhi he knew all about her crazy scheme when he spotted the principal and the elf guy heading in his direction down the corridor. Slipping into a classroom Kyon surveyed them as the walked past.

"Suzumiya-san is rather eccentric so forgive her but I'm sure she'll be glad to help," the principal said to the elf.

So they knew Haruhi was involved. That meant they were probably heading to the clubroom right now. The clubroom which was concealing the missing reindeer. So it was only a matter of time before they discovered the truth and found the bound and gagged Santa-san. Which in turn meant it was only a matter of time before they realised Kyon was involved.

Much to his displeasure Kyon could not allow Rentier-san to be found. His own reputation was at risk, not that he had much of a rep, his _future_ reputation was at risk. This unfortunate turn of events meant he _had_ to help Haruhi. _Damn. _

Clearly not thinking straight for the hundredth time that day, Kyon barged out into the corridor and shouted the first thing that came into his mind.

"SKIMPY BUNNY GIRL SUIT FOR THE WIN!"

That was when he noticed the corridor had suddenly filled up. Over twenty pairs of eyes turned on him. Looks of disbelief all around. The principal and the elf stared at him. The principal looked slightly angry but mostly shocked. Muffled laughter surrounded Kyon. Everyone was so stunned by his sudden declaration that he chose this opportunity to sprint off towards the clubroom.

No one followed but Kyon could hear laughter floating towards him. He was never going to live _that _down. _But Asahina-san looks so cute in that outfit...gah snap out of it! Time to execute OSTRICH!. Operation Save The Reindeer, Ignore Cruel Haruhi. _

Kyon barged into the clubroom and wished he could have chosen a better time to enter the room. Asahina-san was on the floor with Haruhi on her back. Itsuki was sitting at the table staring at the crazy scene before him and Yuki was randomly standing around in Mikuru's elf outfit. Haruhi was also in an outfit. A Santa-san outfit. The reindeer was standing by the window still munching on the remains of Kyon's tie.

"Kyon! You're back!" Haruhi said happily.

"We-welcome ba-ck Kyon-kun!" Mikuru stuttered. Her eyes screamed at him to save her.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Kyon replied staring at them like they'd grown two heads.

"We're having reindeer rides!" Haruhi smiled.

"ON ASAHINA-SAN? YOU HAVE A _REAL_ REINDEER RIGHT THERE!" He pointed at Rentier who gazed back at him innocently.

"He got scared"

"And you don't think Asahina-san is too?"

"She's fine with it" Haruhi shrugged.

"I've been gone five minutes and it all goes to hell..." Kyon muttered as he absent mindedly pushed Haruhi off Mikuru and helped his beloved to her feet. She smiled gratefully at him.

"Hey!" Haruhi cried from the floor.

"You have some explaining to do, Haruhi" Kyon stated, pulling the girl to her feet before she could get too mad at him.

She huffed angrily and flopped into a chair. "Explain what?"

"Why there's a pissed off elf looking for you and Santa-san is tied up in a closet?"

Haruhi froze and a crooked smile formed on her face.

"Uh..."

Kyon sighed. "You actually stooped that low?"

"I wanted a reindeer, ok!"

"But kidnapping?"

"Well he wasn't just going to give me the reindeer, was he?"

"You do realise you're going to have to get Rentier-san out of the building?"

"Can he stay at your-"

"No".

"Not even for one-"

"No"

"Fine! How are we going to sneak a reindeer out of here?"

The members of the SOS Brigade shared a glance then Itsuki and Kyon's gaze fell on the heaps of dress up clothes against the wall.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Kyon?" Itsuki asked.

"Bunny suit?"

"Um...no"

"No then".

"Care to share?" Haruhi demanded.

"How about we dress Rentier-san in one of Asahina-san's costumes?"

A hushed silence fell around them.

"That's so crazy it just might work!" Haruhi declared.

Kyon sighed. _This is going to be so much fun..._

* * *

**Aurora Note: Yay for chapter three! =D I apologise for any out of characterness of any of the characters as I haven't actually watched the show for about six months so it's all from memory -_-' **

**Two more chapters left! BIG THANK YOU to all who reviewed chapter two! **

**I DO accept annonymous reviews so please review! :P**

**Please feel free to check out my profile for progress updates and my other stories! ^_^**


	4. In Which Haruhi Plans An Escape

**Chapter Four**

**In Which Haruhi Plans An Escape And Kyon Finally Snaps**

Haruhi, Yuki and Mikuru stood back to admire their work. For the last few minutes they had been frenziedly throwing clothes and accessories around trying to disguise Rentier-san as best as possible which was pretty much _impossible_ seeing as Rentier-san was a four legged mammal with two foot antlers, not a two legged teenage girl who the clothes had been designed for. Time was running out, the principal could arrive any minute.

"It needs something else," Haruhi said, frowning.

Yuki selected a little pink bow from the pile on the table and perched it atop Rentier's head. The reindeer snorted but remained still.

"Ah perfect choice, Yuki!"

The girls moved aside so the boys could see their finished project. Kyon stared open mouthed and Itsuki tried not to laugh. Their 'brilliant' disguise consisted of a curly blonde wig threaded over Rentier's antlers, the bow on top, an old school uniform draped across his shoulders, the skirt had somehow ended up around his waist and now covered his tail. He even had a fuzzy purple school bag draped across his shoulder to top it all off. Yet despite their valiant efforts it was obvious Rentier was a reindeer.

"You are aware your reindeer looks like a very ugly drag queen, right?" Kyon asked covering his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at the dreadful sight before him.

"Kyon! Don't be so rude!" Haruhi retorted, as she stroked Rentier's nose. " I think you look fantastic!". She planted a quick kiss on his velvet nose and he whinnied happily.

"And you do realise you'd have to be blind not to see that Rentier is a reindeer?" Kyon continued, dragging his hands from his eyes to his chin .

"So what do you suggest we do Mr Know It All?"

"How about..." Kyon searched through the pile of clothes and found a white shawl. "This!" he said, wrapping it around the animal's very obvious antlers and long nose.

"Oh but he looks like a nun, not to mention it totally clashes wi-"

"Um, Suzumiya-san, it's gonna have to be alright, the principal's heading this way!" Itsuki called from the door.

Haruhi gasped and shoved Kyon towards the corridor.

"Distract him while we sneak Rentier-san out! You too Istuki!"

She shoved him again and he all but fell into the corridor. Itsuki followed. Kyon tried to regain his balance but failed to and crashed straight into the principal. The principal started yelling, Kyon started yelling, the elf appeared, Itsuki jumped on the elf and in the ensuing chaos Haruhi, Yuki and Mikuru dragged a protesting Rentier out of the club room and started sneaking off down the corridor.

Only Kyon and Itsuki saw them leave or at least they thought they did. The elf tried to scramble up and he suddenly cried out.

"Hey! That's my re-" he started but was cut off as Itsuki pretended to trip and fell on the man again.

Kyon jumped to his feet and helped the principal up. He had looked pissed off before, now he was positively livid with rage.

"Help that man up immediately Itsuki-san!" he roared.

Itsuki obeyed his orders but as the elf began to say he had seen Haruhi and the reindeer again he quickly dropped him.

"Itsuki-san!" the principal cried in dismay.

"Um, I slipped?" Itsuki shrugged and glanced at Kyon who replied with a look that said think of something else quick.

"We're looking for Suzumiya-san. Have you two boys seen her?"

"Mr Principal I just saw- ahhh!" the elf tried to speak again but was halted as Itsuki fell on him.

Kyon and the principal stared at the fallen teenager. It looked as if he had fainted and Kyon was about to freak out some more when Itsuki winked at him from his position on the floor. With a start Kyon realised it was part of the distraction.

"I'll go get the nurse!" he cried, racing off before the principal could say another word.

Crazy escape plan: one. Law and order: nil.

~#~#~#~#~

The sound of Rentier's hooves clip clopping along the tiled floor was very loud and noticeable. _We should have given him shoes too _Haruhi thought as she led her new best friend to safety. Luckily, there was no one around. Most people spent lunch in the classroom or the canteen.

"Um Suzumiya-san?"

"Yes Mikuru-chan?"

"Where are we taking Rentier-san?"

"Kyon's house of course".

"But I thought he said...oh wait you never listen to Kyon-kun".

"Exactly. Besides I'm sure his sister will like Rentier-san".

Yuki nodded in agreement then stopped dead. Mikuru bumped into her back. Rentier also obediently stopped but Haruhi continued to walk ranting on about something. She eventually stopped too but that was only when a figure blocked her path.

"Hey don't just stand in the middle...of...the...oh crap!"

Haruhi stared up at the man before her. He grinned down at her, his fake bushy white beard slightly askew, a crazy look in his eyes. He stood slightly hunched over due to his aching muscles, after all he'd been hog tied in a closet all night.

"You!" Santa-san growled, grabbing Haruhi by the shoulders.

"Look, I'm sorry! I asked you nicely for the reindeer but you wouldn't give him to me!" Haruhi babbled, backing up slowly. Mikuru cowered behind Yuki. "And then you started yelling and no offence Santa-san but you're pretty scary and I'm certain you were more than a little drunk too so it's not my fault I had to resort to...VIOLENCE!"

On her last word Haruhi rammed her knee into Santa-san's crotch and he doubled over in pain. "Run Mikuru! Run! Yuki stop him!"

The young felon grabbed her friend's hand and pushed her pet reindeer in front of her as they escaped once again. Santa–san slowly crawled to his knees and found himself staring into the slate grey eyes of Yuki Nagato.

"Santa-san. A large man dressed in red who delivers presents to children by entering their homes through the chimney. Possibly a criminal. I'm afraid I have been asked to detain you until further notice" Yuki stated monotonously.

"Shut up and move out of the way kid," Santa snapped, standing to his full height. He towered above Yuki.

"I'm asking you nicely to stand down".

"Make me"

Quick as lightening Yuki delivered another kick to Santa-san's lower body. Kyon showed up just as she did this.

"Wahhhh?!" he cried, grabbing Yuki before she could attack again. "Nagato-san! Why are you attacking Santa-san?!"

"Suzumiya-san asked me to," she replied simply, like that was an excuse for anything.

"Should have known...Where did she go?"

Yuki pointed in the direction Haruhi and Mikuru had fled.

"What shall I do with Santa-san?"

"Uh...tie him up and shove him in a closet".

"Affirmative".

Kyon headed off after Haruhi, cries of 'No! Wait! Nooooo!" echoing after him. There was no way no one else had heard that. It looked as if very soon everyone would be aware of Haruhi's 'little' crime.

All of a sudden Kyon found himself flying towards the floor as if by magic. _Eh? What now! _He wondered then he found the source of his misfortune. The damn reindeer had left a lovely brown 'present' on the floor and now it was all over Kyon's shoes.

_Great! Just great! First the reindeer eats my hat! Then my tie! And now he defiles my shoes! Oh you wait Rentier-san, you just wait! _

~#~#~#~#~

Tears swelled in Mikuru's eyes as the scary man with bad teeth dressed in a similar outfit to the one Yuki was wearing towered over her. She was outside in the cold, dressed only in her ridiculously tiny outfit, with Haruhi and the reindeer and now this scary man demanding they hand over Rentier-san immediately.

_All this stress is going to give me premature grey hairs! _She thought miserably as the first tears broke free of her eyes. Sobbing in fear Mikuru dropped to the floor and promptly curled up in the fetal position. Haruhi stared at her then realised she could use this to her advantage.

"You bully! You made her cry! Comfort her immediately!"

"I-uh-what?" the elf gabbled.

"Do it!"

Obediently the man crouched down next to Mikuru who took one glance at him and sobbed harder. Leaving the flustered man and hysterical girl, Haruhi fled, Rentier at her heels.

If she hadn't been so determined to escape with the reindeer she would have noticed the large patch of ice in her path...

~#~#~#~#~

Kyon slammed open the doors and stood in the doorway, light framing him so he looked like a super hero, a pissed off one at that. He began scraping Rentier's 'gift' off the sole of his shoe into the grass and then noticed Mikuru cowering on the floor a few feet away.

"Asahina-san!" he called, worried about his princess's safety.

"Kyon-kun!" she wailed back, curling up into a tighter ball.

"You're the Bunny Suit boy!" another voice cried.

Kyon blushed and glared at the speaker. It was the elf man, still in costume, standing to the side of Asahina-san. As usual Kyon had only seen her.

"There is nothing wrong with having a healthy interest in Bunny Suits!" Kyon said through gritted teeth, as he rushed towards the elf.

Like a furious knight in dull armour, Kyon slammed his fist into the elf's nose and heard a satisfying crunch, satisfying until he realised he's just broken a stranger's nose when he hadn't been doing anything particularly threatening. _I hope prison's nice..._Kyon shrugged and added assault to the list of crimes he'd committed today.

"Kyon-kun!" Asahina-san cried, jumping to her feet.

"Asahina-san are you alright?"

"I'm fine, thanks to you". She smiled.

_Oh man that smile could melt butter...Is it too bold of me to ask for a kiss in return for saving her? Ok I didn't exactly save her and I think I hurt my hand more than I hurt the elf guy. Oh god is that _my_ blood?! No wait, blood makes me look cooler. I'm not afraid to bleed...I think I'm gonna p-_

Kyon's inner monologue was cut off as a scream rang out. Haruhi's scream. Kyon sighed. Looks like he had to go save Haruhi too...

"Suzumiya-san!" Mikuru cried, racing over to the gates where her fallen leader lay.

Kyon followed and found Haruhi on the floor, dazed expression on her face, her ankle at a funny angle. Rentier was happily munching on the grass ignoring his injured mistress.

"Well don't just stand there! Help me up!" Haruhi screamed.

Kyon sighed for the millionth time that day, any anger he'd felt gone at the sight of his friend lying in the ice, her hair a mess, tears she was desperately trying to hide welling in the corner of her eyes. He placed one foot on the ice and gravity ceased to exist. Seconds later he was on the floor next to Haruhi.

"Kyon-kun!" Mikuru cried.

Haruhi tried to stop her laughter but couldn't. Tears streamed down her face, happy tears now unlike the sad ones they had been moments ago.

"Suumiya-san, may I have a word?" the principal's voice called out.

Her laughter stopped dead. Confrontation time.

* * *

**Aurora Note: Only one more chapter to go! I was trying to get this completley finished by the end of December but that's not going to be possible -_-' **

**BIG THANK YOU to all who reviewed chapter three!**

**I DO accept annonymous reviews! :P**

**Feel free to check out my profile for progress updates and my other stories! ^_^ See you next chapter! **


	5. In Which The Sushi Hits The Fan

**Chapter Five**

**In Which The Sushi Hits The Fan, Haruhi Has A Meltdown And Kyon Gives Her A Concussion **

They were surrounded. Angry principal to the right, elf to the left, hysterical Mikuru in front of them and useless reindeer behind them. Even if their escape route was clear standing up without assistance was not an option as the small lake of ice around them provided no grip whatsoever. It truly looked as if the shit was about to hit the fan.

"Haruhi?" Kyon murmured.

"Yeah?". She sounded scared.

"Got any lies ready?"

"Nu-uh, you?"

"No"

"Crap"

"I believe you owe us all an explanation, Suzumiya-san?" the principal cut in.

Haruhi gritted her teeth and tried to get up only to slip and land on Kyon. She tried again but her ankle gave way and she fell on him as he tried to get up so they both ended up on the floor again. The third time she attempted this Kyon, who had managed to get a grip, grabbed her and held her up before she could fall again.

Clearing her throat she began her desperate explanation.

"Well, Principal-sensei, uh as you can see I have acquired a reindeer. I found it in the parking lot last night attached to a sleigh and Santa-san was in the sleigh only he was drunk so I couldn't just leave the poor defenceless animal there! So I put him in the janitor's shed round back and I put Santa-san in a closet where he could sleep off his drunkenness..."

The principal sighed. "You are in a lot of trouble Suzumiya-san, you too Kyon-kun, but it seems as if you had the animal's best interests at heart. If anything like this happens again please tell a member of staff rather than trying to deal with it yourself. Another thing-"

"You're just going to let her off?!" an outraged elf cried. "She kidnapped _my_ reindeer! That's a criminal offence and look at what she's dressed him in! He looks like a drag queen-"

"Told you so" Kyon muttered.

"Shut up".

"Or a nun-"

"Told _you _so"

"Not another word Suzumiya or I'll make _you_ look like a drag queen"

"Message received".

"-And my employee is still missing, and that punk broke my nose and the sleigh! Where's the sleigh!"

"I left the sleigh in the parking lot. When I came back from putting Rentier-san in the shed it was gone," Haruhi explained. Her eyes looked brighter know it seemed they would get away with their crimes.

Kyon knew better though. There was no doubt they would be in detention for the rest of the year.

"What about my Santa!" demanded the elf.

"Well, the last I saw of him he was with Yuki"

"Nagato-san is involved as well?" the principal asked.

Haruhi nodded. "Itsuki-kun as well and Mikuru".

Just like a captain going down with her ship it looked like Haruhi was intent on dragging her crew to a watery grave with her.

"Mr Suzuki-san," the principal said, addressing the elf. " I think it is best that we find your employee, then you can all leave, the reindeer too, and we can discuss any charges you may or may not want to press".

"What! No, please don't take Rentier-san!" Haruhi cried, attempting to lunge forward to grab the principal's arm in protest, only to wobble uncontrollably so Kyon had to grab her around the waist to steady her.

"The reindeer does not belong here, Suzmiya-san" the principal said sternly.

"P-please principa-pal-san! Rentier-san likes it here!" Mikuru begged boldly, speaking for the first time.

"Yeah! He does like it here! Let him stay!"

"Haruhi, he doesn't belong to you. He has to go" Kyon said quietly.

Haruhi turned on him, furious tears in her eyes. "You just don't like him! You don't care about him! I bet he has a horrible life with that drunk Santa-san! Don't you see he'd be much happier here?"

She leapt across the ice patch onto the safety of the frosty grass towards her beloved reindeer. Rentier looked up at her and bleated as she threw her arms around him, sobbing into the soft fur on his neck.

"All I wanted was a reindeer!" she cried. "It was all I wanted and then there was one right there for the taking! Please don't take him!"

"I'm sorry Suzumiya-san," the principal apologised, motioning for the elf to take the reindeer away.

The elf slipped a harness over rentier's muzzle and pulled him away despite Haruhi's protests. Mikuru waved sadly at the reindeer as he was dragged away. The distraught Haruhi tried to run after him but she could only hobble pathetically due to her injured ankle. With a cry of defeat she slumped to the ground unable to support her own weight due to her injury. Kyon felt sympathy for the poor girl, even if it was slightly childish of her to cry over losing a pet at her age. Slipping and sliding, Kyon made his way onto stable ground.

"Asahina-san, please come with me to find the missing Santa, and Kyon-kun take Miss Suzumiya to the nurse's office to get her ankle seen to, then I'd like to see all of you in my office...and maybe it's best to leave the costumes at home from now on?" the principal said with a curt nod and an obvious disapproving glance at Asahina-san. Mikuru scampered after him as he made his way back to the school building.

"Haruhi?" Kyon asked carefully. He had a sneaking suspicion she was about to let any pent up rage out on him.

She didn't answer but only continued to sniffle on the cold pavement.

"Haruuhhii"

Still nothing. With a sneaky grin Kyon crept up behind her and scooped her off the floor so that her was holding her bridal style. She shrieked in fright.

"Put me down! Kyon! Down! Now!"

Kyon obeyed and began to walk off. Haruhi took one step and fell to the floor again.

"Pick me up! Kyon! Up! Now!"

"I thought you didn't want me to?" he grinned as he picked her up again and began walking. How could such a small girl weigh so much?!

"I don't, but it looks like I have no choice. You do not know how to hold a girl properly do you!"

"Well if you didn't squirm so much..."

"I am not squirming! Ah, Kyon! My underwear's almost showing!"

"Wear a longer skirt then! Ow!". Her elbow caught him in the side of his face.

"Ow! Watch where you're swinging me! I'm injured you know!"

"Are you alright?"

Her eyes grew darker and her playful anger evaporated. She folded her arms and looked away.

"What do _you_ think?"

Kyon sighed again. "Look I'm sorry but you know you can't keep Rentier-san! And doesn't the fact we're all going to get in trouble make you happy?"

"Well I wasn't going to go down without dragging all of you with me, was I?"

"If it makes you feel better, I think I'm gonna miss the damn animal..."

"Really?"

"Yeah...it was kinda funny dressing the reindeer in drag..."

"Tying up the crazy Santa-san..."

" Running from the crazy Santa-san..."

"Rentier-san eating all your stuff..."

"Stepping in reindeer poop..."

"You stepped in his poop?"

"Yes..."

Haruhi burst out laughing almost causing Kyon to drop her.

"I'm gonna kill that damn animal..." Kyon growled turning round.

"Hey! Don't you dare!" Haruhi cried, slinging her arms around Kyon's neck in an annoying way. He almost dropped her again.

"Ok! Ok!" he yelled, as she pinched the small hairs on the back of his neck.

She laughed at him again as he carried her up the stairs. _At least she's happy again...dread to think what would have happened if she got too upset..._As they reached the nurse's office, Itsuki emerged from the room.

"Itsuki? Why are you here" Haruhi asked.

"He pretended to faint so you had more time to escape," Kyon explained.

"I guess it didn't work?"

"You could say that,"

"I'm sorry Suzumiya-san"

"It's alright. There are plenty more reindeers out there and I'll find the one for me eventually!" Haruhi declared, stars in her eyes.

"Yes! You will succeed if you believe!"

"Don't encourage her," Kyon said dryly.

Itsuki waved over his shoulder as he left them. Kyon nudged open the nurse's room door with his foot and entered, forgetting with Haruhi in is arms he was a little bit wider than the doorway. There was a loud thud as Haruhi's head collided with the doorframe.

"Haruhi?" Kyon said.

She didn't answer and Kyon saw that her eyes were closed. He'd knocked her out.

"Oops...Nurse!"

~#~#~#~#~

Kyon had enough sense not to hang around until Haruhi woke up. When she eventually did, an hour later, she had a mild concussion as well as her badly twisted ankle. As soon as the principal had finished talking to the five of them the nurse was adamant she should go see a doctor.

The principal told them Mr Suzuki, the elf, was the owner of a company that did a Christmas show featuring a Santa-san in a sleigh with a reindeer. During the previous night's show, the reindeer had become spooked and had ran off with the sleigh and Santa-san. What Mr Suzuki hadn't known was his Santa was an alcoholic and had been too drunk to do anything. The sleigh had ended up in the school car park and Haruhi had found it. The only mystery left was where the sleigh had actually disappeared too.

Naturally, they had each been issued three months of detention as punishment for bringing the reindeer into the school and causing all the disruption. Mr Suzuki wasn't pressing charges for the assault, kidnap and theft thanks to a bit of crafty persuasion by the principal. The drunken Santa-san had been freed from the chokingly tight knots Yuki had left him in and promptly fired and now Mr Suzuki was preparing to leave with Rentier.

"Are you going to go say goodbye to Rentier?" Kyon asked Haruhi as they all filed out of the principal's office.

Haruhi glared at him for a moment more, she'd been glaring all through the principal's lecture, then spoke.

"I think a clean break is best,".

"You're certain? I mean this is your last chance to see the dumb animal".

"I'm certain," she confirmed. "It would just be harder for me if I see him one last time. I mean we had such good times together, so much fun, laughter, tears. He was there through the good and the bad. We've been through so many things together yet I can not see him again as it will hurt me so muc-"

"Haruhi, you knew him a day..."

She sighed. " It seems like so much longer. We had such a bright future ahead of us".

Kyon stared at her. Maybe she'd hit her head harder than he thought...

"You do know I'm messing with your head right?" she smirked.

"Thank gopher!"

"Gopher?"

"I have a gopher fetish?" Kyon offered.

"As long as you're aware of it..."

"W-what do we do now, Suzumiya-san?" Mikuru piped up.

"Well our detention doesn't start until tomorrow so let's go to the clubroom and kiss our freedom goodbye!" she cried, grabbing Mikuru and Yuki and racing off.

"She does know we have class now, right?" Itsuki murmured to Kyon.

"Let her do what she wants. More detention for her, less for me!"

"Sometimes your cruelty astounds me" Istuki replied shaking his head.

"_My_ cruelty? Do you pay any attention to the way Haruhi treats Asahina-san?"

"I've noticed but at least I look away which I can't say you do, Bunny Boy"

"How do you even know about that?!"

"Trust me. _Everyone _knows. Now are you coming to the clubroom or not?"

Kyon shook his head.

"We have to keep 'gopher' happy remember?"

Kyon thought of all the crap that happened when Haruhi was unhappy and instantly changed his mind.

"What you standing around for? Go, go , go!"

~#~#~#~#~

The following day the school was buzzing with gossip about Haruhi's kidnapping of a reindeer. She was a hero in their eyes and Itsuki had been right when he said everyone knew about Kyon's declaration of 'Skimp Bunny Girl Suits For The Win!' and due to that he had now been branded a pervert. _Great, now it's out in the open..._

Mikuru however remained completely oblivious to this. Haruhi knew though, and to taunt Kyon she forced Mikuru into the bunny suit when the SOS Brigade met at the end of the day.

Kyon groaned when he walked into the clubroom.

"Where you born this evil or did it happen over time?" he asked Haruhi, who was at her desk, legs propped up on the table, her injured ankle bandaged and placed on a satin pillow.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she smirked innocently.

"What are you talking about Kyon-kun?" Mikuru asked, walking over to him in her bunny suited glory.

Kyon blushed as he caught sight of her and hurried over to the cental table. "Uh nothing, Asahina-san".

"Shouldn't we be in detention right now?" Itsuki asked, glancing at the rest of the club members.

Haruhi shrugged. "Probably".

"Ehhh!? I have to get changed! I can't get any more detention! I get home too late as it is!" Mikuru cried, beginning to unzip her costume.

"ASAHINA-SAN!" Kyon cried.

"Huh?" She noticed the boys were still in the room. "Ahhhh! Get out, Kyon-kun! Itsuki-kun!"

The boys left obediently, Yuki too.

"We're going to detention, you going?" Itsuki asked.

"Uh, in a minute. I need to talk to Haruhi"

They left and were soon followed by Mikuru as she burst out of the clubroom with only one shoe on and her shirt buttoned wrong. Kyon peered around the clubroom door. Haruhi remained in the same place as before.

"Aren't you going to detention, Kyon?" she asked when she saw him watching her.

"In a minute. I wanted to give you this," he said, retrieving a small package from his bag.

He tossed it to her and she caught it. A look of confusion formed on her face but she began opening the package anyway.

"Oh, Kyon! It's wonderful!" she cried, pulling the small wooden reindeer from the wrapper.

He blushed slightly and shrugged.

"You said you wanted a reindeer and then I saw that, so..."

She smiled. "Thank you".

Placing the toy carefully on top of her computer screen she wobbled to her feet. "Now help me get to detention".

"Your totally milking this aren't you?"

"No, from here on you are my butt monkey! You must do as I say!"

"And why should I?".

"You knocked me out, Kyon".

"Good point".

"So to make up for that you will answer to my every demand".

"Yes, your highness...".

"No sarcasm! And could you make it snow? That would be awesome".

"I think you could probably do that".

"How am I supposed to do that? It's not like I'm -OH MY GOD IT'S SNOWING!"

"See I told you you could make it snow".

Haruhi hobbled to the window and watched the flakes of pure white swirl past. She stood mesmerised like a small child. A couple of minutes passed by.

"Um, Haruhi? Detention?"

She whirled round, her eyes bright.

"Screw detention! We're going to play in the snow!"

"How old are you?"

"Five! Come on!"

Kyon shook his head and hurried after the girl with a mentality of a five year old.

"Hey do you know what else is awesome? Elves. I want an-"

"DON'T SAY IT!"

**~#~THE END~#~**

**

* * *

**

**Aurora Note: Alas the story ends! I hope all those reading found it funny, I work ages on my jokes -_-' I once again apologise for any mistakes or OOC ness, I'm not perfect after all! X3**

**BIG THANK YOU to Haya Cho and Racke! You're the only two to have reviewed so far and your reviews are lovely! XD They always make me smile :p**

**I DO accept annonymous reviews so please review! It really bugs me when I get loads of hits but no reviews -_-'**

**Feel free to check out my profile for progress updates and my other stories!**

**See you in the EPILOGUE! ^_^**


	6. Epilogue

**Epilogue **

**In Which The Location Of The Sleigh Is Discovered, Haruhi Gets Even and Kyon Is Reunited With His Arch Enemy**

Kyon arrived home soaked to the bone. The snow Haruhi had caused had settled very fast and there was now at least two foot of the freezing substance blanketing the town. He had spent an hour and a half having a snowball fight with her. At first he'd been reluctant but he soon realised it was a fun way to express any pent up rage...and hit Haruhi in the face without getting into trouble.

Their fight had ended when one particularly icy snowball had smashed into a window and left a rather large hole in it. The principal had heard the noise and came running. Haruhi and Kyon now had an additional month of detention.

He was cold, wet and hungry. For once not a bad way to end up after spending an extended amount of time with Haruhi.

"I'm home!" he called.

"Kyonnnnnnn!"

His sister came thundering down the stairs. Her hair as damp as her brothers, her face just as flushed. She threw herself at her brother.

"Gahh! Get off me!"

"Nii-san! Nii-san! Did you see the snow?"

Kyon slowly peeled off his scarf and hung it on the hook by the door.

"Yeah,"

"After school me and my friends went straight to the park and we made snowmen and snow angels and had snow ball fights!"

He pulled off his coat and hung it next to his scarf.

"Sounds fun"

"It was! I got hit in the face a few times but it was good pain, you know? Like when you hit yourself with a hammer when you're hammerin' a nail, but then when you've finally hammered that nail the pain doesn't matter anymore?"

"Mhmm,"

"And the new part of the playground is awesome!"

"New? I thought the council were too tight arsed to make any changes to it?"

"Well there's a new thing there" his little sister shrugged.

"What is it? A swing? Slide?"

"Nu-uh, it's a sleigh!" she cried happily.

Kyon froze as he was about to ascend the stairs. He slowly turned, his eye twitching very noticeably.

"S-sleigh?"

"Yaha! It's got these weird little men on it wearin' funny green outfits. I think they might be aliens or from some foreign country like America. And there's tinsel all over it too, it's sooooo shiny and-"

"Take me to it now!"

"Are you crazy! It's freezing out there and I just got in!"

"I'll give you pocky,"

"To the sleigh!" Kyon's sister declared, arm raised, rushing out the door without her coat or shoes.

She returned instantly, looking slightly blue. Kyon raised his eyebrow.

"S-shoes and c-oat mi-ght be a good i-dea," she shivered.

"You think?"

"Shut up,"

_Wow I never noticed how much like Haruhi she is..._Kyon thought as he trudged after his now more appropriately clothed sister, his own coat back in place. _Oh no, a mini Haruhi!? I'll be dead within a month..._

~#~#~#~#~

The scene at the park looked even so slightly like a massacre. A snowman massacre. Pieces of them littered the ground, not a single one remained standing as a whole. Kyon placed his foot on the head of a nearby victim, trying to look cool as he surveyed the damage. It's shiny lifeless pebble eyes stared up at him, it's carrot nose snapped in half. As if in payback for daring to step on his decapitated limb, the snowman's bulbous head caved in and Kyon's foot went straight through. He stumbled and glared at his sister as she laughed at him.

"What happened here?" he asked with a sigh.

"Well we were all making snowmen when some older boys showed up and started throwin' snow balls at our work . So we kinda abandoned the snowmen and joined in the fight to defend them but they kinda got in the way so we accidentally destroyed them all," his sister explained barely stopping for air.

"Right. I'm not suddenly gonna get hit in the face with a snowball am I? They're not hiding somewhere are they?"

"Nope. We slaughtered them. They all ran home crying for their mommy, " came the reply, a scary smile on her face.

_She really is a mini Haruhi! _Kyon stared at her and she smiled innocently back. _So scary..._

"Come on, Nii-san! The sleigh's over here!" Mini-Haruhi said, dragging her brother across No-Man's Land.

She came to a stop in front of a small copse oftrees. There was a path beaten down through the shrubbery which Kyon cautiously took. If his sister was turning into a Mini-Haruhi he couldn't exactly trust what she said, not that he could trust what his little sister said anyway.

Emerging into a clearing Kyon found what he was looking for...and also something he hoped never to see again. Beady black eyes stared at him, he stared back mouth agape. His breath came out in a fog as did the animals's in front of him which only made the sight of it more frightening.

"Hey Kyon, is this what you ...were...look...," Mini-Haruhi said trailing off as she saw what her brother was staring so intently at.

With a snort of happiness Rentier leapt from his position on top of the sleigh down to Kyon and knocked him over, his pink tongue slathering Kyon's face with reindeer saliva in seconds.

"A reindeer! Oh wow!" Mini- Haruhi cried, jumping around in excitement.

"Get it off me! Get it off me!"

"Huh? Oh!"

Mini-Haruhi pushed Rentier's rear and he obediently stepped to the side. Kyon scooted backwards along the floor trying to get as much distance between him and the animal as possible. His sister, however, couldn't get enough of Rentier. She was busy vigorously stoking his fur and saying 'what a pretty boy you are' over and over like a crazy cat lady.

"What are you doing here?!" Kyon cried, pointing at Rentier as if he expected an answer.

"You know this reindeer, Nii-san?"

"Know it?! Oh I know it! All day it's been eating my clothes, getting me in trouble and leaving poop around for me to tread in! I'm gonna kill it!"

Mini-Haruhi screamed as Kyon surged forward, his fist raised in anger. Rentier bleated and nudged Mini-Haruhi onto his back. He began galloping away, the young girl clinging on tightly.

"Hey! Get back here, Rentier-san! You can't kidnap my sister! I don't want to pay a ransom for her! I'd say you can keep her if my parent's didn't want her but they do so get back here!"

He raced after the animal and emerged from the trees to find it waiting for him. His sister looked ecstatic that she was riding a reindeer, the reindeer looked pissed off. _Uh oh _Kyon thought as he saw Rentier was pawing the floor as if he was getting ready to charge.

And then he did.

"Gahhhhhh!" Kyon cried, as Rentier ran at him, his antlers angled downwards.

Kyon tried but he couldn't outrun his pursuer. Mini-Haruhi laughed as Rentier's antlers smacked into Kyon's back sending him face-planting into the snow.

"Can we keep him, Kyon?" his sibling called from her perch on the reindeer's back.

"Hell no!"

"Aw pleaseee?"

"N. O. Spells no!"

Rentier began walking off and Kyon had no choice but to follow if he wanted his sister back as it didn't look like she was going to give up Rentier any time soon. Every time Kyon got within touching distance of the animal he would suddenly spurt forwards.

"He won't let you catch him if you don't say he can stay," Mini-Haruhi called as, the reindeer raced off again.

"He's not staying!"

Kyon lunged for his sister again, missed and face planted the snow again. If this kept up his face would be frozen solid by the end of the evening.

"Ok he can stay," Kyon tried desperately.

"You have to mean it!"

"I do, honestl- oh my gahhh!"

Rentier had left yet another lovely 'present' for Kyon's shoes to step in.

"See! That's 'cause you didn't mean it!"

The reindeer cantered off again and Kyon could have sworn it was laughing at him. _Haruhi if you had anything to do with that damn reindeer showing up again you will pay!_

~#~#~#~#~

_Earlier that day_

Haruhi opened her eyes to find she was lying on the bed in the nurse's office. Had she fallen asleep? No, she couldn't even remember going into the office. Then her memory came flooding back.

"Kyon!" she cried, springing upright, murder in her eyes.

_That's right! That damn idiot hit my head off the door frame as he carried me in here! Oh I hope he gets what he deserves! I want Rentier-san to hunt him down and cover him in slobber. I want him to hit him with his antlers and leave a 'present' for him to step in and then I want Rentier-san to run away every time that dumbass tries to catch him! _

Smiling to herself Haruhi settled back down in the bed, wondrous thoughts of Kyon torture filling her head.

**~#~ The End (Again) ~#~**

* * *

**Aurora Note: I never actually intended to do an epilogue, it just kinda happened =P And it was originally supposed to be about five hundred words long but it evolved into a whole chapter but I'm still calling it an epilogue XD I'm not sure if it does anything to add to the end of the story but I had some lose ends I thought I should tie up. **

**I'll leave it to your imagination as to how Rentier and the sleigh actually ended up at the park cuz I don't really know either X3 Also I'm not sure if I got Kyon's sister's personality right but oh well.**

**BIG THANK YOU to: Haya Cho, Racke and HarimaHige for reviewing! Thank you to anyone else who reviews after I post this! **

**I DO accept annonymous reviews as per usual! **

**Feel free to check out my profile for progress updates and my other stories! ^_^**

**I'm not sure yet if I will be returning to the Haruhi fandom, maybe after I've seen season two, I dunno. **

**Oh and I have nothing against Americans it was just the first thing I thought of and I don't think they look like elves :D Thank you for reading! **


End file.
